Once upon a time, there was a teenage girl named Goldilocks. She lived at the edge of the forest with her family. One foggy morning, while she was searching for blackberries and raspberries, Goldilocks wandered into the woods and got lost. She was a little scared but was sure nothing bad would happen. In the distance she saw a disturbing little log cabin.
She creaked open the door and immediately the stench of rotting corpses burned her nose hairs. She covered her mouth and nose with her light jacket and began walking through the kitchen. She saw three bowls. She smelt bacon. "I'm famished," Goldilocks said. "I'll just have one nibble." First, she tried a spoonful from the big bowl. It was barbecued bone marrow with 5 human hands fanning out, there was rotting bacon around the fingers as if rings.
"OW!" she yelled, "TOO CRUNCHY!"
Next, she tried a spoonful from the medium sized bowl. She lifted up her spoonful of tonsils and small intestines. Immediately, Goldilocks spit out the garlic, onion and sriracha sauce recipe.
Goldilocks panted, "TOO SPICY!" And she grabbed the glass of milk to absorb the spices. The milk had thick paste like chunks in it.
Finally, Goldilocks tried a spoonful of the smallest bowl. It had about 20 eyeballs with a nice sweet and sour sauce drizzled on them.
"YUMMY!" she cried.
After eating, Goldilocks felt sleepy so she went upstairs. She tried sleeping on the first mound of dead and decomposing bodies. "TOO HIGH!" she yelled.
Then, she tried the pit in the floor containing ashes and broken glass. "TOO LOW!" she screamed.
Finally, she tried the last bed in the room; it was a twin size mattress with thousands of needles. "SO RELAXING!" Goldilocks sighed. She fell asleep and was rather attached to the bed.
Just then, the three zombies returned home after chasing a brother and sister named Barbra and Johnny who annually visited their father's grave.
The zombies smelt something terrific and slowly walked upstairs. "Who's been sleeping in my bed and is STILL HERE?" one zombie asked.
Goldilocks opened her eyes and sat up. But before she had a chance to run away, the zombies began ravaging her. The three zombies simultaneously lifted up their heads and exclaimed, "JUST RIGHT!"